An Understanding
by callmecrazy83
Summary: Post SR. The events, and choices, made by Lois and Clark during the last five years, can be ignored, but not forever. Can two people find the peace they need in themselves, and maybe with each other? Includes a very different vacation.
1. Chapter 1

Alright, if you're taking the time to read this you know the drill. The characters aren't mine, but I wish I was creative enough to think of something as cool as Superman. Not making any money off this either, which is also a shame.

My first time posting something, so, you know, be nice.

**An Understanding**

Lois Lane had a revelation in the most uncomfortable and unlikely of situations. If she was going to write about it, going to put her story out there in the Planet, she would have to change the circumstances if she hoped anyone would want to read her story.

She was clipping coupons as the TV buzzed in the back of her mind. She tried to cut each one right on the line, the little dashes a road map to piles divided by household usage. Leaning over to grab a new pile of papers, her arm, tired by stress, knocked over the wine glass, her third, and she didn't even like wine that much.

"Shit!"

The red liquid, like blood, drew itself across the glass table quickly, its tendril quickly enveloping cleaning items and toothpaste ads. She ran to the kitchen and quickly retrieved paper towels, but they did little to correct the escalating mess, and were no use to dry off the pulpy clippings. She could have, should have let it go.

Richard would have had her let it go. Would have chided her instantly for saving a scrap of the innards of a newspaper, reminding her that she and he made plenty of money, they didn't need to have coupons anymore. He would have had her put them away and they would have laughed.

But Richard wasn't there anymore, left for London almost a month ago. Lois couldn't blame him, who would? Richard could always handle having her mind else where, her job or Jason. But when he couldn't have her heart, no one could blame him. They didn't even fight, he just stood up one day and said it was over, and just like that it was. Lois could see the irony in his leaving her, just as Superman had. And though she considered herself a good, moral person, she couldn't make herself feel too bad about Richard's leaving. And as time went by, and her feelings didn't change, she inevitably felt worse and worse.

Which left Lois Lane, the tough as nails, highly respected reporter, standing on the deck of her home at two in the morning trying desperately to use a blow dryer on coupons that would ultimately be left on the counter.

And then it hit her.

_What in the hell am I doing?_

When Superman arrived several hours later, he was surprised to find Lois sitting outside on the steps of her back porch, eyes as glassy as the water they were trained at. He landed and walked over to her quietly and stood nearby, waiting for a reaction. When it didn't come he sat down awkwardly. People in physical distress were a job for Superman, but those whose problems were internal seemed to need someone who didn't wear a cape. Clark cursed himself internally again that he couldn't find the courage to tell Lois the truth. He liked to think that there was just never the right time, but ever since Richard left it was more difficult to admit that that theory wasn't a lie.

"Do you think…" Lois started, and Clark, no Superman, looked at her startled.

"Think what?"

She looked out at the lake for a second, and then turned to him, her eyes deep and sad. "Is it easy for you to always do the right thing?"

"No one always does the right thing Lois."

"But you, you get close enough, right." She was up now, walking towards the water as he followed. "Truth, justice, and so on. I mean, what stopped you from becoming evil, and not a superhero?"

"I don't know. Doing what I do, somehow, it just seems right. I just knew."

"How."

Superman sighed looked around, running a hand through his hair. "A gut feeling? Instinctual? I don't know Lois."

"It's just that…you always seem to make the right decisions."

Superman let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. Slowly, afraid that she might break if he moved too quickly, he moved in front of her and placed his hand on her arms. "Why are you asking me all this Lois? This isn't like you."

She laughed bitterly, and suddenly gripped his arms with surprising strength. "Like me? Like me how, exactly? Like the woman who had a baby out of wedlock after a night of passion she can't remember? Or maybe the harlot who strung along one man with promises of love, but whose heart she selfishly kept locked away for another? Or possibly even the woman who dreamed of being a reporter who changed lives, only to have her greatest acclaim come from a sappy article that any scored woman could conjure up? So who is it Superman? Which one do you want?"

Superman was at a loss for words. It killed him to see her like this; the strong woman he loved twisted about, fighting demons. As a reporter, words usually came easily, but that night, looking into Lois' tear stained eyes, he was at a loss.

"See, I've been thinking a lot about right and wrong lately, and it seems to me that everything in life comes down to two categories: what we want, and what we need. It seems simple, to decide between the two and make the right choice. But right now I look at the choices I've made, and I don't know what category they go in, or why. What's a sacrifice and what's selfish. Right and wrong."

"Lois, please…"

"Am I a good person?"

He didn't have to think before responding, "Yes."

Lois got up on her tippy toes then and kissed Superman softly, pulling away quickly and staring into his eyes, the feeling she saw there making her heart break. "I wish I could believe you," she said quietly before moving away. He went to follow but she stopped him with a hand. "I think you should go now. You can see Jason another night." And like that, she went inside and shut the door.

Clark flew home quickly, and was grateful to get a few hours sleep before work the next day. He peeled off his suit and crawled into bed naked, clutching the extra pillow tightly to his chest as he stared at the ceiling. The tears came quickly, as they often did. He knew that much of Lois' pain was his fault, but until tonight, he had never fully realized how deep her choices had affected her. And he knew that no matter how much he would try to fix things, maybe he couldn't help her enough.

But he would try. Because being alone wasn't working for either of them.

The Daily Planet was a bustling place normally, full of people and machinery moving as if in competition for expediency. Add in the summer sun and a broken air conditioner, and no employee was left without embarrassing sweat stains.

Clark Kent, however, had the problem of remembering to sweat at all. He made sure to keep a water bottle by his side, and inconspicuously splash various places during the day. It was the little things that made him feel the most different.

As he worked at his computer, Clark unconsciously reached for his water and ended up grasping nothing but air. Looking around he soon found the thief, Jason, turning around in the other chair in his cubicle, his short legs swinging carelessly. Jason smiled, and Clark couldn't help but do the same. It would be so easy for him to reach out and grab Jason right now and leave, just spend the day with his son, tell him everything.

"Hey Jason, how the water?"

"Cold. Good."

"Good."

"Mr. Kent, you want to see what I drew?"

"I think we'd both like to see what you drew honey," came a familiar voice from the cubicle entrance. Both looked up at the woman and smiled irresistible goofy grins. Her boys. Six weeks ago, Lois Lane would never have lumped Clark into such an endearment. But ever since Richard had left, she and Clark had grown closer. Sure, Lois had liked Clark enough before he mysteriously disappeared for five years. However, lately they had been spending more time together, taking lunches almost everyday, often having diner as a threesome, or talking on the roof to get away for the office. It came naturally to her, she found, to be near him. There was something familiar about him, but what it was eluded her. All that really mattered was that in this stressful time he had been there for her.

"Look," Jason held up his picture, absolutely beaming with pride. It was of Superman, to no one's surprise, flying high above the earth.

The adults smiled and looked at each other knowingly, "Jason," Clark proclaimed, "I think that's your best one yet! Why don't you put it up with the others in here?"

"OK!" Jason grabbed the tape and leapt to the side of the cubicle, trying to find a place on the oversized collage.

Lois smiled, but was soon rubbing her neck. Clark looked up with concern. Though others thought she was coping well, he knew better, even if he hadn't seen her meltdown two weeks ago. There were bags under her eyes and an almost crumpled ness to her posture.

"Are you OK Lois?"

She let out a sigh, "Yeah, I'm OK. At least I'm getting out of the city. Or rather, we are."

"Huh?"

"Perry just told me. We're heading to a county fair a couple hours north."

"What! Why? I mean, why us? Maybe I should go and talk to Perry about this."

Lois plopped down on his desk, her bare thigh perilously close to Clark's hand. "Don't bother, I've already had that screaming match, and if I can't win, mild mannered you, won't." Clark smirked good naturedly. "Besides, this might not be such a bad thing. I need a vacation, and you need to recharge your farm-boy batteries."

"Oh you make fun of me now, but once you get out there, I think you'll really like the fresh air and interesting people. For instance, have you ever had a deep fried Twinkie before?"

Lois wrinkled her nose. "Good lord no."

"Ah, then you don't know what you've missed," Clark enthused, smiling broadly. His glasses had fallen down his nose, and Lois pushed them back up. Both were surprised at the gesture, and they looked into each others eyes for a moment, and Clark could see some happiness there. But soon Lois realized what she had done, and the veil of sadness and guilt returned. Clark touched her wrist after a moment, and she returned from her thoughts.

"Well, we're supposed to leave ASAP."

"I guess the only thing we really need to do is find a place for Jason to stay."

"Any ideas?"

Lois smiled, "I think there's only one man for the job."

"Me?" squeaked Jimmy, bits of donut tumbling down his unbuttoned and garish shirt.

"Sure," Lois said, looking down at Jason as he swung on her arm, "I'm sure that Jason would love to stay with you again."

"Yeah! You have all those video games and cool stuff," Jason agreed. "Why does your mom let you keep them? My mom let won't let me get one, and I've been askin for forever."

Clark tried to hide his amusement, "You live with your mother."

Jimmy straightened in his chair, turning his head stiffly, in an utter failure to look adult. "I'll have you know, many people still live with their parents, and it's perfectly normal. My mother really appreciates my being there."

"She wears a wig!" Jason smiled at blurting out the secret, and Clark and Lois could not hold back there own grins.

"Jason, it's not nice to say people's personal business like that." She wanted to sound serious, but it just didn't come out right. Jimmy, to his credit, tried to keep his dignity, but as the giggles of his coworkers continued, he slumped in his chair a bit and pretended that the carpet was very interesting. Lois felt terrible, and tried to recover, "Oh Jimmy, I'm sorry. But seriously, I would really appreciate it if you could take him for two days while I'm on assignment with Clark."

"Well, maybe I have a date tonight."

"Jimmy," Lois chided, "If it's online, and you're pretending to be a mythical creature, it's not a date."

"Look, World of Warcraft is played by millions of people all over the world. Active, normal people who like to connect through a shared passion of a very rich creative experience."

"Whoa Jimmy, calm down there Bud," Clark placed his arm on the younger man's shoulder."

"I'm sorry; I don't know why…Oh well. Sure, I'll take the little guy for the next few days, not a problem."

"Great, you know the drill with food and so on. I'm going to run home and get our stuff, so I'll see you two later." Lois took her son's hand and walked towards the elevators. Jason looked back over his shoulder and waved, and both waved back.

Jimmy leaned back in his chair and put his feet on his desk. "So, you're going away with Lois." He raised and lowered his eyebrows a few times. "What do you think about that?"

Clark gave him a confused then annoyed look. "So, you're mother wears a wig." He crossed his arms. "What do you think about that?"

Jimmy looked away first, embarrassed, "Have a nice trip, Clark."

If Clark could have floated in the office, he would have. Two days, and nights, away with Lois. It was almost a shame that Superman didn't skip. But as he stopped at his desk to get his jacket, his heart dropped a little. Time alone with Lois always meant that he would again have to think about everything he wasn't telling her. He promised to tell her things this weekend, no mater what.

And he worried that her reaction would indeed bring both Hell and high water.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

An Understanding: Part 2

Lois Lane had to be one of the most competent people Clark knew. She was a journalist, mother, champion of others, and, from what he's heard, not all that bad at baseball. In fact, if fate had taken a different course, and she had his powers, Clark had no doubt that she would make a much better superhero then he.

However, Clark was learning the hard way that Lois was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good driver. It wasn't like she didn't know how to drive; she could turn the wheel and park with aplomb. It was more that she seemed to forget to watch the road or remember that other drivers were around her. She switched lanes when she wanted, sped, and often laid on the horn, all while swilling coffee. Super powers or not, Clark wanted an extra seatbelt. And his mother.

"Did you see that guy?"

"Huh?"

"Did you? He totally cut me off!"

"Well," Clark paused, choosing his words carefully, "maybe we shouldn't have left during the noon rush hour."

Both heard the tell tale sleep tracks on the side of the road and Lois swerved back into the lane without looking. "I think that guy just flicked me off."

"I think he was waving at us."

"With only one finger?"

"Maybe he's not from around here. Maybe, in his homeland, that's some sort of positive greeting." Lois glared at Clark like his was an idiot. "Gee Lois, if this stresses you out so much, maybe you should let me drive."

Lois puffed out her cheeks and let the air out slowly. "No, no, I want to drive for now. I don't like being in a car and not being able to be in control. I'm always worried that something is going to happen."

Clark nodded; it made sense, even if it wasn't a very comforting statement. They were quiet for a while, and staying in one lane for the most part, so Clark took the time to look out the window. Metropolis was his home now, and in the end, with what he had chosen to do with his life, that was OK. But as much as he admitted to hating it to people, especially Lois, he loved the country. It had a lot to do with his childhood. After witnessing so much trouble in the world he couldn't deny that he had been lucky with his family. What would most people have done if an honest to God spaceship landed in their backyards carrying a child? And what if you found out that child had abilities beyond that of any other? It seemed in human nature to push away that which was unusual or frightening. It was a defense mechanism really and often served to keep people out of harms way. But Clark also knew that such feelings meant prejudice, hate. If there was any other who had found him that starry night, he might have ended up in an institution or worse. He didn't know if he believed in fate, but maybe that was what had brought him to his adopted mother and father, and given him the childhood he had, and inevitably made him the man he was today.

So as Clark watched the buildings and towns become smaller and more spread out, the land a sea of grain washing away 'proper' civilization, he couldn't help but smile a bit and relax.

Lois, on the other hand, was white knuckling the steering wheel and staring at the horizon, disturbingly determined. As he turned his attention back to her he noticed her breathing was irregular too.

"Um Lois?"

"What?"

"Are you alright?"

"Fine."

"But your breathing it's…"

"Lamaze."

Clark almost choked on his own spit. "Umm, OK?" He couldn't look at her, but she turned her head sharply towards him.

"When I get nervous, or stressed, I sometimes use my Lamaze breathing to calm down. It's perfectly reasonable."

Clark still kept his eyes straight ahead, her actions being too personal for him to react.

Lois huffed unceremoniously, "Oh Clark, would you relax. It's not like I'm having a kid right now."

He looked at her and gave a weak smile. "Was it helpful when you had Jason?"

The question was from left field, and anyone else would have gotten a tidy lecture on boundaries and being an ass. But this was Clark, and Lois wasn't overly bashful when it came to personal and Clark lately. "Well, with eight hours of labor, you bet that Lamaze breathing was used. I could have sworn he was never going to come out." Clark turned and gave her a reassuring smile. On the list of things he hated having missed in Jason's life, and that list grew longer by the day, not being witness his birth was in the top three. The thought was guaranteed to make him choke up, as it was now.

"I wish I could have been there," was all he said, placing a large, cool hand on her shoulder.

Lois took her eyes off the road again. Those words had been so genuine, so kind, that even though she hadn't thought of Clark in those hours of screaming and swearing, she could now imagine how reassuring it would have been to have him by her side. Feelings arose in her, strong ones, but as soon as her heart pondered those feelings, guilt swooped in and chased them away.

Lois turned back to the road, and flatly said, "Well, Richard was there, so it was alright."

Clark nodded, trying to not look very crestfallen. He knew that it was unreasonable for him to hate Richard. Here was a man who had fallen in love with a woman and not even blinked in his devotion when it became apparent she was carrying another man's child. Richard had raised Jason, and by all accounts been the type of father that any child deserves. It was more appropriate to say that Clark felt immensely jealous of the five years that Richard had with what Clark considered his family.

His family. The words turned in his mind over and over. In some ways it was selfish to believe that, considering the current circumstances. But Clark couldn't deny the amount of time he spent dreaming about what could have been and all the wonderful possibilities for the future. The possibilities were as infinite as the stars he had visited, and often just as far away.

After an hour or two, Clark and Lois switched places and Lois slept peacefully in the car. Clark could tell that this trip was needed for her in so many ways, even if going to a small town called Oneida to cover a county fair was not her ideal vacation.

Once they were about three miles away Clark woke Lois softly.

"Are we there yet?" she asked, almost dreamily.

"Almost."

"Oneida." She said concretely, and Clark could see the reporter wheels turning in her head. "Kinda like the potato."

Clark laughed, "Sure."

"I can't believe that Perry is starting a new section called about the surrounding area called 'Fresh Air.' That man is a city boy, through and through."

"It's a little out of character, I agree. Maybe his wife is from out here."

Lois shrugged, "Maybe," then shook her head, "Fresh Air."

"It's a catchy title."

"I guess. But if the country smells like that pig train we ran into, I'll pass."

Just then they came around a sharp bend, and in the middle of the road, minding its own business, was a cow. Clark swerved the car, careful not to stomp the break pedal straight through. For a second he thought they might be alright, but then the car got caught in some lose gravel, went down a slight incline, and promptly hit a stump.

The cow looked at the car for a second, snorted, and continued to walk down the highway.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	3. Chapter 3

_First, I'd like to give a gigantic shout out to those who left me reviews. You guys rock, and keep me going when I should be doing other things, like sleep. If I knew you I'd give you fresh baked cookies. And by fresh baked, I mean the kind you get where the dough is ready and made into cookie shaped globs to put in the oven. Because if you knew me, you'd know I can't really bake but I like giving presents._

_And for those who read and don't review, I hope you're liking this just as much!_

**_An Understanding: Part 3_**

Lois was sure she hadn't passed out. They hadn't been going that fast, and the stump not large. But she still let her head lie in the airbag for a moment, head swimming in and out of light and color. She knew this trip was a bad idea from the start. But did anyone listen too her? Of course not.

As the airbag slowly deflated, she sensed movement next to her. Suddenly a familiar hand was on her neck leaning her back into the seat.

"Lois! Lois! Are you all right?"

"Nuhhh." Her head hurt, and she suspected other parts would soon pledge annoyance as well.

"Lois?"

"Was I dreaming, or did we almost have a head on collision with a cow?"

"It's not your imagination I'm afraid."

Lois let out a small, coughing laugh. "Good thing we hit the stump instead. Stupid rental. Must be the tires or something." Slowly she turned her head towards the driver's side of the car, and noticed almost immediately that Clark's airbag hadn't deployed. Her head snapped around the rest of the way, expecting to see quite the steering wheel impression on Clark's face. But as he looked at her with deep concern, the only difference to his appearance was tousled hair and no glasses, which had snapped in two and landed in his lap. Her hands leapt to his face, fingers on his cheeks, thumbs going around his forehead, nose, and chin.

"Lois, I'm fine," Clark assured her, but she ignored him like she would ignore Jason if he had fallen off of the slide. How was it possible that he hadn't been hurt? It was impossible? No normal person would be able to withstand that impact if…

"Lois?" He was failing to get her attention, more concerned with finding out her well being then his own. He took his own shaking hands, loosely grabbed her wrists, and brought them to rest on the parking break with his own.

Lois took a deep breath and let it out. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply again, hoping that her brain could reset somehow, ask useful questions. But when she opened her eyes again, she saw Superman's face. Not in a cape, not saving her again, but as Clark. And in her eyes, Clark could see the pieces falling into place, like a picture being brought into focus. He wondered if she's ever actually seeing him again.

She wrenched her hands away. "Oh my God."

"Lois, there is a perfectly good reason for…" He wanted to explain, but Lois was frantically trying to get out of the car, punching and pulling at her seatbelt which had been slightly mangled in the crash. Clark reached over to help, and she immediately sprang away, pressing herself against the door, looking terrified. He released her with easy, and she scurried out of the car. He exited on his own side and started to walk over to her, but she motioned him away.

Lois walked about ten yards. She knew that putting the car between her and Clark logically made no sense, but at the moment it made her feel a little more secure. Lois squatted down, put her arms on her knees, and her head in her hands. At that moment the truth wasn't so much sinking in as being cruelly injected into her veins, and it hurt like hell.

Clark kept his distance, but made his way to the hood placing both hands palms down, rocking a bit just to hear the soft metal pop in and out. Of all the cinereous he had played out in his mind of Lois finding out his deception, he's never, ever, predicted something like this. And consequently, he was at a loss for what to do.

She stood up and turned to him, hands on hips, heart in throat. "So you're Superman?"

"Yes."

Lois nodded. "All this time…"

"I'm sorry. Things weren't meant to be this way."

"Things never are," she whispered to herself.

"I think we should talk about this."

"No."

"But…"

"No. No Clark. No Superman. You know what; I'm not ready to talk. You don't get to decide when we talk about this. You've been making the decisions for our relationship a lot with hiding this from me. But I'm taking control for now, I think I deserve it."

"Look, I really am sorry, but I'm not sure that right now we should be fighting."

"Fuck you!"

She walked back to the car and glared at him, breaking eye contact only to grab her purse. Clark remained rooted to the spot, more shocked then angry at her outburst. Superman had battled criminals far and wide, but at that moment Lois showed more anger in her eyes then all those combined. "Here's what were going to do. Two tires are busted, so we're not driving out of here, and my cell phone is useless. You're going to get our bags out of the trunk, and then we're going to walk to town, where we can check into our crappy-ass motel. And the whole time we're not going to talk. I need the time to think, and you should consider doing the same. Got it?"

Clark nodded. If he were braver, he'd ask if she wanted to fly there instead, but he knew this wasn't the time. Without complaint or hesitation he slung her computer bag over his shoulder and put a suitcase in each hand. He joined Lois by the road where she stood staring at the horizon, heels already in hand. Normally he would try to help her by mentioning that not wearing shoes was probably a bad idea, but Clark had the distinct feeling that if he opened his mouth, he was just asking to be slapped.

Instead, he hung his head and followed her lead down the road into Oneida, and, quite possibly, several days of Hell.

_**To Be Continued…**_

_That's all for now folks. I know I've been cranking out this story pretty fast, but things might slow down for the next day or two as I look for a job. Expect a looooong chapter next time though. Lois and Clark have a lot of things to figure out. And don't worry; we will eventually get to the fair! Woo!_


	4. Chapter 4

_**An Understanding: Part 4**_

Worse walks have been taken, but neither reporter could think of one as they trudged into town. Several vehicles stopped and asked the two if they wanted a ride, but Lois waved them off each time.

They arrived in the early afternoon, tired, sweaty, and completely unresolved. Their motel was indeed crappy; a long, two story, concrete eyesore. As Lois harrumphed herself onto the garish floral quilt on her bed, she thought back to a report on television concerning cleanliness in hotels, and inwardly shuddered. Wasn't this the type of place in movies where people had affairs or were killed over drugs?

She felt better after calling Jason and the office, though she didn't really appreciate Perry's laughter over the cow.

She unpacked; making sure her jewelry was carefully tucked away under her underwear in the back of the drawer. As Lois slowly took off her clothes, she paused, wondering if Clark was watching her now, through the wall. He was just next door, so what was to stop him. His sense of propriety, she was sure. Maybe she should give him a little show, but no.

After dressing, Lois ventured from her room just as it was starting to get dark. As she passed Clark's door she paused. The light and television were on, but the shades were closed. With her angry receding a bit, she raised her hand to knock, but reconsidered.

Walking several blocks from the hotel, Lois noticed quickly that Oneida wasn't nearly as small as she had expected. There was a long main street, its shops light just starting to make a difference in the dusk. The side streets were also filled with activity and bustle and beyond the main street was an artificial glow, probably from a larger shopping area. Lois' stomach grumbled, and she realized that she hadn't really eaten since breakfast. There were many restaurants to choose from, each packed full with people coming for the fair, their happy conversations wafting with sweetness on the air. Lois felt that she couldn't sit there surrounded by the contentment of others just yet, so she was grateful to spot a Walgreens.

Slipping inside Lois picked up a basket and walked around slowly. The options there didn't exactly mesh well with the Atkins plan she had been trying to follow lately, and she stood in the chips aisle for a minute, pondering. But then, up in the corner she saw it, the forbidden snack that haunted her dreams: Cheetos. Carefully reaching for the bag, she held the bright orange bag tenderly, considering if she should give up her health resolve so easily. Should she? The tiger on the bag gave her the thumbs up.

"Well, if you say so," and into the basket it went. Soon root beer, M&M's, gum, and chapstick joined the Cheetos. And after considering the basket's contents, Lois threw in Tums as well. Grabbing a cheap sweatshirt, she plunked her selections next to the register.

The older man behind the counter smiled and shook his head as he scanned her items. "So, what did he do?"

Lois look up, "Huh?"

"The only reason a beautiful young woman comes in here on a Friday all alone buyin food like this is if a man has done something stupid. I should know, my wife's been on many runs like this herself. So, I'm not trying to intrude, but what did he do?"

The man smiled at her, and she felt at ease with this stranger. "He, um, lied."

The man chuckled, "Yeah, that's a good one. Been there, done that, still regret it. Ever had an honest to god toaster oven chucked at ya?"

"Can't say I have."

"If you see one coming, duck." Lois laughed. The man leaned over and picked up a chocolate rose and held it out. "Here."

"Oh I couldn't."

"Come on, take it. You need something nice tonight, I can tell."

"Thank you." Lois took her purchases and headed towards the door.

"And honey?"

"Yeah."

"If you love him, forgive him. Being alone is worse then being angry."

Lois waved. "I'll keep that in mind."

The sun had almost set as she trudged back to the hotel, plastic bag twisting round and round in her hand. She climbed the hill she'd seen behind her room, put on her new and highly fashionable sweatshirt and sat down. The sun was set, and stars were beginning to blink overhead. Below, Oneida glowed pleasantly. It was quiet here, peaceful, safe. As Lois tore into her diner, stopping every few mouthfuls to greedily suck on her fingers, she resigned herself to thinking about everything. Clark. Superman. Richard. Jason. Herself. She felt adrift with possibilities and consequences. But one thought pervaded all others.

_What in the hell am I doing?_

Clark Kent was miserable, but he deserved to be so. The walk into Oneida had been like a baton death march. Clark rarely failed in life, but when he did, he failed spectacularly.

Stopping planes? Easy.

Lifting islands? Not so bad.

Putting out fires? Why not.

Telling the woman the woman he loved, and the mother of his child, that he was living a double life? Now that's hard. Lois was right to be so angry, only a person who was brainless wouldn't be.

Clark was equally unimpressed at their accommodations, but after living in space for five years, any soft, warm place to sleep seemed fine. After showering he lay on the bed and tried to watch TV or sleep, but found it impossible. The tension and regret were keeping a strangle hold on his mind. What he really wanted to do was look through the wall at Lois, just to check, like he had so many nights as Superman. It was self-serving and invasive, he knew, no matter how pure his intentions were. Lois had made a good point a while ago about evil and good. He still didn't know why he had become a superhero instead of a super villain, but he proved himself on the side of goodness that evening by not gazing through the wall.

After several hours not sleeping or paying attention to the television, Clark walked to the back of the building out of sight and flew to the sky. Even though his super hearing could still hear the world moving on below, there was still a comforting quietness among the clouds. He drifted high above Oneida, stomach towards the earth. Just outside of town he could hear a family sitting down to diner outside. Dishes rattled, children laughed, parents talked. It all seemed perfect. He knew that in reality that that family had problems and issues just like any other, but together, at that moment, everything was right. He hoped they enjoyed it.

He floated on a while longer before hearing faintly, "Clark, I'm ready to talk when you are."

He floated down to earth slowly, making one final decision. No mater what Lois said or wanted to do, he was going to respect her wishes. He loved her too much to do otherwise.

Clark landed quietly in front of her. "Hi."

"Hello Clark. Here, come sit next to me." She patted the ground and he sat down with grace, stretching his legs out and staring at his toes. The Clark Kent she'd known before the accident would have had trouble sitting down on the ground with ease, and she had to remind herself that Superman could be quite graceful.

"So, you're Superman," she repeated, though her voice was much calmer then before.

"Yeah."

"I feel so stupid. It was just the glasses and posture. Duh! Some reporter I am."

"Lois, please, don't feel bad. I had to try really hard to keep my identity a secret. In a way, your ignorance is a compliment."

"I also feel guilty for not noticing you as Clark Kent before not too long ago. Here I was, crazy over a Superman, and he was right in front of me."

Clark wove his hands together and flexed them. He looked so sad. "Don't be, please. When I decided I wanted to use my powers for the good of the world, I knew that I would need to keep my Clark Kent identity as well, for the sake of my sanity. But I also knew that Clark Kent would need to blend into the background, so no one would ever suspect a thing. I've cared about you for a very long time, so I didn't make my feelings known. I told myself that it was enough for me to have your heart as Superman."

"So what changed?"

Clark gave her a look that broke her heart. Was it possible that he was as alone as she felt, if not more so. "When I came back to earth, and saw you with Richard, I knew that I couldn't interfere with your relationship, it wasn't fair to Jason, or you. But when Richard left, I couldn't resist getting close to you. I lied to myself Lois. Loving you as Superman was never enough. I wanted you to love all of me. It scared me a lot, but ever since that first day I took you out to lunch, I knew I couldn't go back. I've wanted to tell you about Superman for a long time, but I was worried you would push me away. It's selfish, I know."

"Wanting love and affection isn't selfish Clark, its human." She placed her hand on his arm.

"It's selfish when my inaction has caused so much pain for you. Look at us Lois. I never, ever, wanted us to have this conversation out in the middle of no where, after a car crash."

"Agreed."

"But on the other hand, what if I had told you the truth that first night on the roof when I got back."

She thought for a moment, "Imagine my reaction at the car, only angrier."

"Exactly." They sat in silence for a while, letting the soft wind ruffle their hair, and the crystal clear sky offered no answers. "But what do you think of all this Lois. Whatever you think or feel I'll go with. I may question what you decide, but I'll respect it."

"I think that it's much more beautiful out here in the country then I thought it was going to be."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." Silence. "What I need to do is…"she started. "What I mean to say is…" Lois tucked her feet underneath herself a bit and put her head in a hand. Her hair was tied back loosely and she wore no make-up. So beautiful. "OK, have you ever been to a bull fight. A real one, in Spain."

Clark shook his head no.

"Well, they're really kind of awful. Gruesome. See, you go in thinking that this is a really tough fight for the matador, because the bull is big and strong, and logically an angry bull should be able to tear a man in half right? But before the match begins, people cut the tendons in the bull's neck. It can't see or raise its head, and then it's taunted to run after something it can't catch while people stab it with spears. I don't think the bulls actually die, I think they just give up."

Lois was silent for a moment. "I don't think I ever stopped wishing you'd come back. For the first month I was certain of it, patient that one day you'd return. The second month I started to worry that you were hurt somewhere that I couldn't find you, but I still thought that one day I would be standing on the top of the Planet and there you'd be, smiling. The third month, I got angry. That's when people really started to speculate that you were gone for good. By the forth month, I had to agree with them. Plus, that was also when I figured out I was pregnant. At first I was confused. We had only kissed a few times, and that does not baby make. But I had heard that we'd spent a lot of time together before you disappeared, so I just put two and two together. Being pregnant was good in a lot of ways. It kept me occupied with something, and though I hated admitting it, I liked the idea of having a bit of you with me."

They smiled at each other good naturedly.

"Then I met Richard at six months." Clark tensed. "I was gigantic and crabby, not exactly the type of woman a man would look at and immediately be attracted to. But he was persistent, I'll give you that. And he gave good foot rubs, which became increasingly important. It was easy to fall for Richard. He's such a good man, Clark. He reminded me a lot of you. That's probably why I loved him." Clark hung his head a little bit, but Lois knew she couldn't lie to him about what had happened.

"Life went on without you. I had Jason, Richard and I moved in together, and we went on with our lives. The world seemed to move on. I could just charge along like the bull, no one questioning what was really going on. But I never stopped…" Lois looked away, unsure of what to say next. She stood up and walked a few paces closer to Oneida, her face slightly illuminated by the city's glow. "I never stopped wishing that one day you would come back. Waiting for that flash of blue and red. I told myself that it was because Jason deserved to know his real father, that it wasn't that I still loved you."

At this Clark stood up and went to stand next to her looking over the world itself.

"And then you came back. And everything I felt for you came back too, plus a lot of angry that you had disappeared at all. But I wasn't the same woman anymore. All I wanted to do was…" she sighed. "But there were other things now. Jason, Richard. I couldn't change their lives so dramatically. Having a kid, it makes you stop caring about yourself. I wanted you. But I needed to be there for Jason. I wasn't happy though, and I must be a bad actor, because Richard could see right through me. I don't blame him for leaving me. If the situation was reversed, I'd have done the same in an instant. And that first night alone in the house, I thought to myself, "oh good, now Superman and I can be together." But as soon as I thought it, it sounded so wrong. Richard had cried when he left. Cried. The only other time he did that was when Jason was born. How could I be this person who ruins other people's lives? I hated myself, and I didn't understand why I deserved anything."

Lois turned to Clark, openly, but silently crying.

"I still love you. All of you, Clark and Superman. I understand why you kept me in the dark. The loved ones of people in power are always the first to get hurt. I still wish you would have told me, but that's another conversation. I want you in my life. But I'm worried that if we're together I'll start to need you in my life. And if I need you in my life again, and you leave, I don't think I can handle that. Can you promise me that you won't leave me again?"

Clark looked placed his hands on her shoulders, drawing small circles with his thumbs. He knew he couldn't lie. "No. I have a strange and dangerous destiny, and I can't promise that I won't need to leave again, or that I won't die." Lois cried harder. "But I can promise that if you'll have me, if you'll take a chance, I'll do everything I can to be with you and love you. I went into space to look for my home, to look for answers to who I was. And it took me billions of miles to figure out that my home is here, with you. I'm the man who loves you, and that's all I need to know."

Lois could hold out no longer. She threw herself into Clark's arms, and he returned the favor. It had been so long for them both, but to each the other still felt the same. Lois was soft and smelled distinctly beautiful. Clark was warm and strong. They stood entwined for a long time, and as they pulled away they fell naturally into a kiss. It was gentle and loving, his arms around her waist, her hands roaming on his shoulders and hair. When they finally pulled away, each slightly breathless, Clark rested his forehead on hers and stroked her cheek with affection.

"This thing," he said finally, "Us. It's going to be complicated, isn't it?"

Lois smiled. "Yup. But worth it."

Clark grinned as well. "Definitely worth it." Lois stifled a yawn. "Come on, let's get some sleep." They gathered up her things and walk hand in hand to the hotel.

Outside of their neighboring rooms, Clark froze, not moving towards one or the other. Lois, already half way inside the door looked back at him casually. "If you want, you can get changed and come back over here for a bit." Clark looked startled, and inwardly his nerves were fried. Isn't this the outcome he had been hoping for? But so soon. Too soon. "Would you relax? I didn't mean _that_ that. I mean sleep. I just don't see why we should to be so close but still apart. I'll leave my door unlocked."

"Um sure. I'll be right back." Clark grinned widely and bounded towards his door. Lois rolled her eyes. In most people, such goofiness and restraint would be annoying, but in Clark, they were endearing. She quickly changed into a tank top and shorts, and waited on the bed. She chided herself inwardly for being nervous. This was Clark.

Lois was brought out of her thoughts by a knock on the door. Clark stood outside, in a t-shirt and jeans with no glasses.

"The door was unlocked."

"I know," he came inside and looked around.

"Then why did you knock?"

"I didn't want to surprise you if you were, you know, naked or something."

"Clark, you've already seen me naked, remember."

"I remember," he said deeply, making both adults blush. Suddenly, it seemed very unfair that only Clark had memories of when Jason was conceived. But Lois knew she would have to change that another night.

She looked him up and down. "Are you really going to sleep in those jeans?"

He looked down. "Uh, no. I just didn't want to come over here in my boxers."

"Why? It's only, like, fifteen feet."

Clark sighed and took off his pants. "Someone still could have seen me."

"If you keep acting like this, I might have to start calling you Mr. Bashful."

Clark screwed up his face a bit. "Please don't. My mom used to call me that when I was five, so coming from you it just sounds wrong."

Lois laughed a bit, but soon yawned. Clark pulled back the covers and patted the space next to him, "Come on, sleep time." Lois hopped in and Clark turned off the light. They settled into together easily, Clark on his back and Lois to one side, an arm and leg carefully draped over his body. He put an arm around her waist, lifting up her top a bit so he could stroke the skin on her back.

"I just realized something," Clark said after a few minutes of silence.

"Mmmm."

"We still have the fair to go to tomorrow."

"We do indeed."

"Well, I'm looking forward to it."

Lois snorted into his chest. "I'm sure you are, farm boy. But Clark?"

"Yeah?"

"No matter what, I'm not eating a deep fired Twinkie." Her voice was getting sleepy.

His chest rumbled. "OK Lois, whatever you want." He kissed her head tenderly. "I love you."

Lois didn't respond. She was already asleep in his arms, and that was all Clark needed.

**To Be Continued…**

Alright, hope you liked it. Next few chapters will be at the fair. I'll post as quickly as I can. Promise!


	5. Chapter 5

An Understanding: Part 5

Lois awoke alone the next morning. Her heart sank, afraid the talk she and Clark had the night before was a mistake, and he had bolted. She rubbed her eyes vigorously and propped herself up on her elbows. Before she could think of more ways to disembowel her partner, a glinting caught her eye. Sitting on the table near the window were some wildflowers in a small plastic cup from the bathroom. As Lois picked up the note, she smiled:

Lois,

You're so beautiful when you sleep, I didn't want to wake you. Had to take care of some business. Get dressed, and I'll be back before 9:30 so we can get going.

Love You,

Clark

It was a simple note, but it meant a lot. Lois didn't like waking up alone, but she suspected that a relationship with Clark would mean opening her eyes to an empty bed. Knowing that he took the time to consider her feelings meant a lot.

She pulled on nice pants, a t-shirt, and pumps. As the post on her second earring pierced through, there was a commotion at the door. She could here Clark sliding his card into the slot, and being rejected each time, a small beep eliciting some low swear Lois didn't understand. She walked to the door smirking, "Do you want some help, or should I leave you two alone to settle this like men?"

Clark sighed. "Just open it." He stepped inside and set down coffee and a small wax paper bag. "I just solved a mysterious bridge collapse, but the mystery of the hotel door is beyond me."

Lois took a long sip of her coffee. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Clark closed the distance between them quickly and took Lois in a deep kiss. She squeaked in surprised, but soon responded in kind. When they separated, Clarks swollen lips a hairs breath away, Lois whispered, "Why did you do that."

"Because now, I can. It's not a bad way to start a day."

"I agree." She patted them on the chest before sitting down and opening the bag. "Only one muffin? And bran?"

Clark began eating enthusiastically, little crumbs escaping has he talked. "I didn't want you to fill up, there's going to be so much good stuff at the fair."

"Fine, but couldn't the muffin have raisins at least."

"It's good for you."

Lois grabbed her half eaten bag of Cheeto's. "You can eat it then." She sprawled on the bed and flipped on the weather.

"Are you really going to wear that?"

Her orange lips pouted. "What?"

"It's not really appropriate for the fair."

"I look professional."

"Lois, I love having you in my arms. But carrying you back to the hotel after you've lost your heels in mud will not be pleasant. I hope you brought jeans and some sneakers."

She grabbed stuff out of the drawer and slammed it shut. "Fine I'll change."

"I'll wait."

They started out shortly after, Lois in proper attire carrying a purse and fidgeting digital camera they were supposed to use. The day was clear, but not too warm. Clark had picked up an events schedule at the front desk and was reading the contents swerving on the sidewalk. She leaned back slightly and snapped a picture. Clark looked blurry, his glasses completely blocking out his eyes.

"Do you actually need those things?"

Clark pushed his ocular back up his nose. "Not since I ten. They're just part of the mystique now." His eye brows went up and down, and she rolled her eyes.

"You're such a dork."

"Yeah. But that's why you love me."

Before Lois could respond, a truck pulled up next to them with a cow in the back. The driver leaned over, and Lois recognized the man immediately from the Walgreens the night before. He tipped his hat, "Mornin' you two. Can I offer you a ride?"

"Good morning. Sure, we'd love a ride. I'm Lois, and this my, uh, partner, Clark." Clark was disappointed that she didn't refer to him as her boyfriend. He'd have to talk to her about that later.

"Well, my name is Gus, and the beautiful lady in the back there is Ann. Why don't you hop in here with me, and Clark can keep Ann company." Both climbed in and they were off. "It's a big day for Ann, her first show," Gus said, turning a bit through the cabin so Clark could hear.

"Congratulations Ann," Clark said giving her a little pat, and Ann tried to lick his face.

"Don't mind her. She thinks she's a dog. Can't help it I guess, we raised her in the house." Lois rolled her eyes. "No, really. When her mama died, we had to. As long as you set some rules, and make sure she goes outside, it's no better or worse then a big dog."

"She gave us a scare lately. Leapt the fence in the backyard while I was at work last night and got all the way to the highway. My neighbor found her hours later. I just hope she didn't cause any trouble."

They turned off the main street, and across several fields was the county fair. There were stalls, rides, animals, food, and lots of people. "This is your stop guys; I need to go round to drop off Ann." Clark jumped up first, and opened the door for Lois. "I hope you guys will stop by and cheer on Ann later, I think she'd appreciate it."

They agreed to try, and waved as Gus went off in a cloud of dust.

Lois grabbed Clark's arm and dragged his ear down. "You don't think that Ann was the cow we had trouble with."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, if she is, it makes quite the opening to our story."

Clark nodded, looking up at a large, hand painted sign that said "Oneida Welcome's you to the Kewanee County Fair."

"So," Clark said, rubbing his hands together, "what should we do first?"

Lois took the list of events from his pocket. "First we need to make a plan. May I suggest that we walk up and down the grounds and see what's going on? Then we can sit and write out a schedule of events we want or need to cover. Then we can decide…"

"Whoa Lois," Clark threw his hands up. "Uh uh, nope. No plans."

"Why?"

"Because it's not in the spirit of the fair to make a plan like we're invading."

"But we need to write our article."

"We will. Fairs are meant to be experienced. Relax. We'll get what we need and more. And if we don't get everything, who's going to know, or care."

Lois relented. "OK Clark, I trust you. But I'm keeping the schedule of events."

"Of course, how else will we see Ann in her moment of glory!"

"Alright, fun master, lead on."

Clark took Lois' hand, pleased at how naturally it fit into his own.

First they walked over to the children's area. Kids ran around, laughing and chasing each other. There were art stations, clowns and performers, a small petting zoo, and off in one corner, slightly older children were helping younger ones show animals like rabbits and sheep to judges. Off to one side were various bails of hay that children could clime over, and to the horror of their parents, jumps off. Lois smiled to herself. "Jason would love this."

"Really," Clark perked up at mention of his son. "Which part."

Lois gazed around. "Hmm, first he'd want his face painted. Then he'd introduce himself to every animal. Then he'd want to run around with the kids without me yelling every three seconds that he needs to be careful."

"Sounds like me as a kid." They went over and sat on a bail of hay, and Clark pulled out the camera and started taking pictures, happy the machine had motion control.

"Do you think I worry about him too much?"

"All mothers worry. With everything that I went through, all the changes, I know I'm the reason every hair on her head turned grey."

"Jason is so fragile though, it's hard to let go."

The flash on the camera went off, and Clark looked at the viewer before turning to Lois seriously. "I wasn't fragile like him when I was little, but I had weird problems with allergies. One day I'd be fine, the next allergic to things like oatmeal or bees. It never lasted long, a few weeks, but it was random and difficult to work with." Lois nodded. "With Jason, I think that his Krypton genes and his human genes are having a little war for dominance. Eventually, I hope he'll grow up to be just like me."

"Hope?"

"I don't know for sure. There's nothing to compare his progress to. I've only been dealing with this issue for a couple of months now, and it's killing me to see him struggle. I can't imagine what this has been like for you. You talk about feeling guilty over the choices you've made. I can understand that, cause I feel terrible for leaving you alone."

She hooked an arm through his and put her head on his broad shoulder. "I'm glad you're here now."

"I want you to know that if I had known you were pregnant, I would have stayed."

"I know," she said quietly.

Suddenly, a little girl fell to her knees a few feet away. Her brother had pushed her down and ran away laughing. Immediately Clark went to her, her eyes welling with tears. "Hey, are you alright?" She shook her head. "Come on, stand up, let's see if there's anything hurt. Oh honey, don't cry, you'll ruin your face painting. What are you?"

She was standing now, bashful at his attention. "A tiger."

"A tiger! I hope you don't eat me. Are you a nice tiger or a mean tiger?"

"Mean!" She bared her claws and started to paw the air.

"Uh oh, I'd better run away, I don't want to be eaten! Why don't you go eat your brother?" She nodded and sprinted off, her tiny voice growling.

As Lois watched the interaction, she could feel some tears welling up. Clark would make a good father. Maybe things just go right every once in a while. She got up and touched his arm softly. "You're a natural dad."

He gave her the biggest smile. "Ya think?"

"I do, I really do." They stayed in contented eye contact for a few moments before Lois began to look around. "Well, the day isn't getting any younger, so what's next?"

"Hmmm, maybe we should hit the rides before lunch. Let's go on the big ones"

"How do you even know I like big, scary rides?"

"Lois, I've seen you on assignment. I have the feeling you enjoy a little thrill."

Lois laughed, took his hand, and they started to make their way over to the midway, where people seemed drawn to the lights and colors like bugs. Just as they were entering the gated area, there came a deafening screech of ripping metal. Soon screams followed, and the unmistakable crunch of things being crushed by something very large. They looked simultaneously at the direction of all the commotion. On the far end of the midway a ferris wheel had broken off its hinge and began to role down a slope with passengers in tow.

"Clark, maybe you should…" but he was gone before she could finish her sentence.

So much for a relaxing day at the fair.

**_To Be Continued…_**

_OK people, here's the deal. I love this story, and I have gotten such great feedback that I want to continue it back to Metropolis and beyond. However, the next few weeks will be a little crazy since there's a good chance I will have to pack, move, and start work in Florida in about a 10 day period (I should mention that right now I live in Michigan). I will work hard to update as much as I can, but it's a little up in the air for the near future. So please, please, stick with me. I promise that if you like this story, there's more to come._


	6. Chapter 6

Well, I'm back!!! Sorry for the long, long, long wait. I started a new teaching job, and if you are a teacher, or know a teacher, then you understand how difficult being a first year ninth grade English teacher can be. Trust me when I say that I've wanted to keep writing, but my 155 students have taken my life away. Your encouragement has been great. So please enjoy and tell your friends to read.

Lois Lane's first crush liked toads and presented her with one during recess in the third grade. At first she had screamed and dropped the box, as all her other female counterparts scattered to the wind. But as soon as the box hit the ground, an overwhelming sense of pity for the creature overtook her, and she scooped up the box concerned that it had been hurt. Her relationship with Ronald, the toad boy, lasted only two weeks. But she and Larry, the toad toad, were companions for years.  
In middle school Lois hand made her valentine cards, disappointed with the lack in ingenuity found with the boxed Garfield trinkets the local store offered. She saved the best card for Jonathan, the man of her dreams, for last. Her sweaty hands clutched at the thin paper with anticipation as she walked toward his desk. Little did Lois know however, that Jonathan had partaken in one too many cheap candy hearts. So as soon as Lois came upon his desk, her love emptied his stomach on to her bright new pink dress. They still went to the dance, of course, but what could really grow between two people who had shared the smell of half digested tater tots together.

In high school her prom date got the chicken pox a day before the dance, and no amount of banging on his screen door could get him into a tux (who gets chicken pox at eighteen anyway?). In college she seemed to attract the worst kind of men, users, and abusers. Her therapist said that she liked fixing people and that's why she stayed in these relationships. Maybe that was true, for a reporter, what greater mystery was there then the opposite sex?

And if a woman was looking for someone with issues, it was hard to beat an alien who flies around wearing tights.

_What the hell am I doing?_

But oh, how good he did tend to look in those tights.

All these thoughts went whizzing by Lois' mind in the instant after Clark left her side. She steadied herself and took a breath before running after the rogue Ferris wheel. She screamed at the top of her lungs for people to run away, but the rolling hunk of metal seemed to be a clear enough instruction for most. Dozens streamed around her.

Suddenly there was a tug at her arm. "Hey lady, whatcha standin' around fer? Can't ya see that the Ferris wheel done gone crazy?" An older man in overall who hadn't seen a toothbrush in too long had her elbow. "We need to git outta here!"

Lois took her extremity back with a sharp pull. "Thank you sir, I can see that the Ferris wheel is a little out of sorts, but I think I'll stick around and watch."

The man shrugged, "Suit yer self." He walked away and said in a low voice, "City people, they don't got no sense."

"Hey wait," Lois called. "How many people are on that ride?"

"Only two teens. The thing had just started up for the day, so they were the first ones on. Lucky us, I guess." Suddenly the sky was displaced in a flash a blue and red.

Lois stopped and gazed at Clark. Even after all these years of seeing him like this it was still a bit of a shock. Humans don't fly around in primary colors, they just don't. And yet here it was, close enough to share air particles with, a reality. And after five long years in space it was a relief to see this happening again.

The runaway, which had initially been rolling away down an empty field, had turned to take on a pack of parked cars. Superman positioned himself at about half the height of the wheel and held out both arms. The hulking mass stopped easily at his touch, as if only a pinky was really necessary. The metal shuddered and began to list to the right. In an instant he was on that side, gracefully and slowly laying the beast on its side. Superman stepped away and waited, but no one emerged. He shifted his weight uncomfortably and called, "Um, hey, you can come out now."

Like eager ground hogs, two scruffy heads popped out of one dented chair. Two teenage boys in black hoodies scampered out as Lois ran to the scene snapping pictures.

"Dude!"

"I know!"

"But dude!"

"I know!"

"It was like crack, and then we were all rolling."

"You were screaming man."

"No way."

"Oh no dude, you were."

"No way."

Not being able to take this illuminating conversation for another moment, Lois spoke up. "Are you two alright."

Both looked over and nearly doubled over in excitement at the sight of Superman, as if just figuring out that their lives had been saved. They ran up to their hero.

"Superman, that was awesome! The thing was like bam, and then you were like no way."

"Yeah. I thought it was over for us man."

Lois and Superman looked at each other in an effort not to laugh.

"Yeah, you, like, rock!" Both boys raised their hands for high fives. Superman shifted his weight slightly, a bit of the Clark persona showing through the more polished Superman persona. He didn't, couldn't, respond.

"It's no problem guys. I'm just glad I heard you and could come and help."

"You heard us? See man, I told you that you were screaming."

"Well, screaming would be completely reasonable for this particular situation. But just to be safe, I won't tell anyone." Both teens grinned, and Clark couldn't help responding in kind. "Now, I think I see one of your mothers over with the crowd. Why don't you go to her, I'm sure she's worried."

Both boys waved and began to run off. "See dude, I told you this fair would be cool."

"Yeah dude, best fair ever!"

Thankfully, the rest of their conversation was droned out by the rest of the crowd, which was making a steady pace for Lois and Superman. Quickly, Clark whispered that he'd be back, and lifted off into the sky.

After careful examination of the Ferris wheel, now peacefully settled on the ground, the officials decided that foul play was not involved. A rusty bolt had finally snapped and allowed the day's most exciting event. The men in charge announced soon after that considering that no one was injured, and the day was so unbelievably perfect for a fair, it seemed silly to cancel the rest of the day. So the frame in the field was roped off, and people went back to what they were doing.

Lois went and waited back at the children's area. She curled her thin legs under her body and viewed the photos again on her camera. So much for the fluff piece that Perry had requested to raise the spirits of Metropolis. But he'd be please with this. More then that. In fact, if Lois didn't know better, she'd suspect that her boss had climbed up into that rig and done something to that bolt himself.

A throat clearing caught her attention. Clark stood a few feet away, looking bashful. She jumped up and flung her arms around his neck, knocking both back a step.

"Whoa, that's quite a welcome."

"I was starting to wonder where you went."

Clark released Lois and gave a small shrug. "I decided to land outside and walk back into the fair so it looked like I went out to the car or something."

"Oh."

Clark stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and rocked back on his heels. "Well, I think we might have quite the story going for us today."

"Who knew! I even have some quotes from the people trapped in the 'spinning wheel of death.'"

"Is that what you're calling it now?"

Lois sat down and began to put things into her purse. "Catchy, isn't it?"

"Sure. But about those first person quotes. I'm not sure that our readers are ready for that many uses of the word dude."

"I may have to paraphrase a little."

Clark chuckled to and ruffled his hair. "Yeah, sure. I can see the headline. 'The Dude Saves the Thing: Superman in Another Calamity.'" Lois shifted around looking uncomfortable. "You look disappointed."

She straightened herself out a bit, "I'm not."

"Then what?"

"It's nothing."

"Lois…"

"Clark, just drop it. Please?" Clark didn't want to drop it. If he could have it his way, he'd have Lois talk all the time and tell him everything that came to mind. I the cold of deep space, he played the sweet tones of her voice over and over, and now that he was home, he'd be happy to listen to her order pizza. And he certainly wanted to know what she was feeling when it came to him. But Clark was too afraid that pushing her would only lose her. It wasn't that long ago that he'd found a distraught Lois crying on her back porch in the middle of the night, and he was aware that it probably wouldn't take much to return her to a poor state.

Instead, he took her hand. "Well then, what do you feel up to?"

"If I remember correctly, you are the leader of our day out, so what do you suggest?"

Clark pretended to think hard, "Hmmmm, hungry?"

Lois cracked a smile, "now that you mention it, I could eat something. Those Cheetos from this morning aren't really holding me over."

"I'd think not. Really, your eating habits Lois…"

"Poptarts are a better start to any day." She cut him off. Clark stopped and looked down at her. "Have you tried the ones where you can squeeze the frosting on yourself?" Clark smiled. "I don't understand, they never give you enough!"

He nodded. "Well, how about a hot pretzel then."

"Alright."

Clark kissed Lois, and they walked toward a stand.

It was hard to believe that the day wasn't even half done.

To Be Continued….


	7. Chapter 7

Here it goes. Thank you so much for the warm welcome back. Writing is a great escape from my 60 hour a week job (yes, teaching is eating my life). I want to give a bit of a shout out to some people who have given me great reviews: Valia-Elf, htbthomas, Astasia, Saavikam77, The Kiss of Death, JJ, AgiVega, and Angel452. You guys rock, and I wouldn't be writing this without you!!! And everyone else who's taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy the story. Per request, more love in this chapter.

As always, I do not own these characters, just take inspiration from them.

An Understanding: Chapter 7

There were many benefits to growing up on the farm for Clark Kent. He was alone a great deal, no doubt, but considering his rather unique growing pains, that was a blessing. But it wasn't the space, or the crops, or the time and dirt on your hands. It was the clichés. As a writer these phrases were an eyesore and a cheat of talent. But what could Clark really say. People know clichés because they are repeated so much, and they are repeated because they're true. So what is a farm boy left to do when he needs to describe the atmosphere that fostered his existence?

He decided that he liked the animals the best. They were his friends and confidants, and Clark experienced all aspects of life and death, his parents not feeling the need to shelter their child from all parts of life. He loved the fact that a cow or a dog could sniff him or his parents and regard them as the same.

But they weren't, of course. One spring, Clark's dog had puppies for the first time. He was so excited that he stayed up all night through the labor in the barn with his mother. By morning the old girl had produced a great set of yipping balls of fur, their tiny eyes clamped shut in denial of the real world. Suddenly, the mother began to push again, her back legs straining. Mrs. Kent knew what this meant, and tried to send her son away, but Clark wouldn't move. The puppy was born in a dark sack of fluid, not writhing like the others had. Mrs. Kent broke the sack with a knife and cleaned the puppy carefully, but it was too late. She wrapped the small thing tenderly, turning away from her son, but he wouldn't let her leave, begging to see the puppy.

"I'm sorry Clark," she said with sadness, "the puppy is gone."

"No," Clark said, cradling the puppy with all ease in his hands. He unwrapped the towel and looked down at the prone body, its head off to an awkward angle. Carefully he began to rub the small thing's chest; just as he had seen his parents do over and over with other animals in the past. He rubbed and rubbed, hoping that by he could hit some kind of invisible switch and the puppy could come alive and struggle back against death between his fingers.

Mrs. Kent became concerned and placed a hand of his back. "Clark, honey, there's nothing you can do." Clark shook the tears on his face into zigzags. "Look, your dog is fine and has eight beautiful puppies that you can raise and love. But this one… there's nothing you can do."

"No," he said again, simple.

"Honey…"

"No." He was becoming fervent now, beyond intent. "No, I can do this mom. I…" his speech was broken by the sound of a small crack. Clark looked down with ragged breath. His finger was still on the puppy's chest, but now a little more depressed, and no one has to tell him that he'd broken the baby's sternum. Quietly, Mrs. Kent took the small bundle from her son.

Clark's arms dropped to his sides. "She's still warm."

"I know."

"It's not fair."

Mrs. Kent nodded as she helped her son off the straw covered floor of their barn. "No, I guess it's not. But Clark, you need to know that there's nothing you could have done about it." They began to walk toward the house.

Clark looked at the bundle cradled in his mother's arms with pain. "I don't know…"

His mother stopped suddenly in the dawn light and crouched to the eyelevel of her son. "This is important Clark. You need to understand that this isn't your fault. There are many things that in life that we can take care of, that we should take care of. But there are other things, things beyond our control, things we can't fix." She raised her son's face so his eyes couldn't stare at the buttons of her shirt. "You can't live your life feeling responsible for the world. The world is cruel and wonderful, but it's responsible for itself. All you can do is help." Clark stared at his mother for a long moment, his eyes full of hope and fear. His mother allowed her thumb to trace his cheek bone. "How did I ever get so lucky to have the chance to love you?" They smiled at one another. "Let's go inside. I'm sure your pa has cooked us up a great breakfast, and after we'll go and burry this small thing." He grabbed her hand and they walked inside.

Clark remembered that day as he watched the woman he loved go across the way to get them some hot pretzels and hot dogs. The young, pimpled teenager had obviously not gotten their order right the first time, because Clark could see Lois wag her finger at him and then place both arms crossed around her waist, tapping both feet on and off impatiently as he went back into the stand. He laughed. Missed orders were about the only thing he wanted to deal with today, a problem to be fixed. The rest of the world could wait. Humanity was surprisingly good at taking care of itself. In fact, if Lois was right, the world didn't need him to function. And indeed, when he had returned after five years, the earth was still there. But it was still difficult to ignore the cries that occasionally came to his ears.

"Clark, could you give me a hand?" This request was a little closer by, and he easily trotted over and took the sodas away from Lois' over burdened arms.

Lois gave him a cheesy smile. "My hero." They sat down at a group of tables near where a bunch of food carts had parked and dug in. Clark took a big bite of his hot dog and looked across the table at his perfect woman, who was having trouble fitting her hotdog with everything on it into her mouth.

"How can you even taste the hot dog with all that stuff on it?"

"Look Mr. I-only-like-mustard-and-ketchup, I can't help it if you are boring with food."

"Careful, if you don't stop making fun of me, I'll have to show you just how unboring I can be." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Hmmm," Lois responded, "that's a very interesting offer considering we're both eating hot dogs right now." Clark's eyes bulged a bit as Lois reached across the table, "Here, you've got some mustard on your chin." She swiped the yellow glob off with ease, but Clark grabbed her hand before she could sit down. With deliberate slowness he stuck her finger into his mouth and sucked off the offending condiment, swirling his tongue along the tip. Now it was Lois' turn to be surprised.

Clark released the digit with a pop and smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Undaunted by Clark's aggressiveness,eHe decided that Lois leaned foreword and whispered, "I want you to know, if there was a table cloth here right now, my foot would already be past your knee. Remember that." With that, she sat back down and began to tear her pretzel apart.

Clark puffed out some air but grinned, "God, I love you."

"I know. So, what's next?"

Clark popped the last bit of his hotdog into his mouth and again looked at the schedule of events for the day. "Well, we have some time before the cow judging at 2, so why don't we go and see some of the other competitions. Rabbits, squash, pies, stuff like that."

"Pies! That means dessert."

"Ugg, how can you even think about more food?"

"It's easy. First I picture a pie then I picture my self, then…"

"Stop, stop, please, for the sake of my sanity."

They gathered up their food and threw it away, again linking hands. Clark looked down at Lois and smiled. "It's good to see you like this you know."

"Like what?"

"Relaxed, happy. It's nice to see you like this. It wasn't that long ago that I found you crying on your back porch blow-drying coupons."

Lois nodded in agreement, "That was pretty bad."

"You scared me that night."

"I scared myself."

"It's my fault, I know."

Lois paused before she answered, walking straight, eyes foreword. Her grip tightened on Clark's hand. "Yes. And no. Remember last night when we talked about choices? You may have chosen to leave, but I chose to stay with Richard and keep Jason." Clark looked down at Lois concerned. "Yes, I thought about ending the pregnancy. Can you blame me? But in the end I didn't, and I'd rather not talk about that."

Clark nodded. "Look, things still aren't right, but they're getting there because you're here, alright?"

They smiled at each other. "So that's what was bothering you earlier?" Clark asked.

"Not exactly."

"Then what…"

But whatever concern that Clark had died on his lips as Lois let out a little shriek. "Oh my God! That is the cutest thing I've ever seen ever." Lois ran over to a stall and stared at a small lamb tucked near its mother. Seeing the young woman it got up on shaky legs and walked over to her outstretched hand, licking it. Clark put a hand on Lois' back. "Look, it likes me."

"Yeah, I think she does."

"Hello little one," Lois cooed, stoking the lamb's head, "Oh my son would just love you to death. At least until he broke out into hives."

"Jason does seem to like animals."

Lois climbed back off the stall gate and hooked arms with Clark so they could continue walking down the row. "Animal planet saved my job. I could plunk Jason down in front of the TV and write."

"What was his first word?"

"Car." Clark looked surprised, but Lois just shrugged, "Yeah, I don't get it either."

They walked for a while stopping occasionally to look at animals and food. Once Lois got Clark to pose with a pie next to his face.

"This isn't going into submission for the paper, is it?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

They began to walk away, and Lois quickly pinched Clark's butt. "Oh, I'll think of something."

Out of no where Clark grabbed Lois' hand and made a break for a surprisingly dense outcropping of trees. She giggled with delight and tripped after him past branches and lush green leaves. Clark stopped abruptly and pressed Lois against a tree. Instantly their lips were on each others, nosed knocking against each other in a fight for dominance. Clark pulled away slightly and lightly bit and pulled on Lois' lip. She growled and ran a hand against the back of his head pulling his mouth back to hers with insistence. Soon their tongues were dueling. Lois could barely stand upright between the taste of Clark's lips and the sweet smell of his skin. Luckily Clark had now pressed her flush against the tree, one hand on her hip and another in her hair, both constantly pressing, searching.

Lois first took the time to explore his back and trace his spine. But this wasn't nearly close enough. Searching she walked her finger around to the front of his shirt, tugging slightly. His t-shirt came away easily, and she walked her hand up until her hands rested flat on warm and toned his stomach. Clark's breath stuck in his throat, and he had to break his kiss and rest his forehead on Lois'. She didn't move his hands, but gave a small smile.

"Hi."

Clark smiled, "Hi."

For a moment all they could do was breath heavily like teenagers necking in the back of a car. It's debatable who started the kiss again, but the need each felt was undeniable. Lois let her hands ever so slowly go higher, and Clark let his own digits explore the tender skin on her back, dueling who could push the other to break the moment in surprise. But just as Clark's finger tips brushed Lois' lacey bra strap, the PA announcer's voice reached their ears saying the cow competition would be starting soon. Reluctantly they broke apart.

"Too be continued?"

Lois grinned, "You better believe it!" They straightened themselves out and began to walk toward to fair again, and the rest of the afternoon.

To Be Continued…


End file.
